25 Apr Identity Lost? Melbourne Psychologists Explore Existentialism
Losing your sense of self can feel disorienting. It might be triggered by a major life change, a relationship ending, burnout, or simply the slow erosion of self-awareness over time. Identity confusion often shows up as indecisiveness, people-pleasing, or feeling like you’re living someone else’s life.
In therapy, we gently explore the roots of identity disturbance and help you rebuild a clearer, more authentic sense of self. Our Melbourne-based psychologists can help you reconnect with who you are, beyond roles or expectations.
What Triggers Loss of Identity or Sense of Self?
First, you’re not alone. This can often happen after a life change. At the heart of losing our sense of self is often a deeper struggle with meaning and direction. Existential questions tend to surface during times of change—Who am I now? What really matters to me? Is there a point to any of this? These are normal human questions, yet they can feel unsettling when our previous identities no longer fit.
Major transitions, like a breakup, losing a job, becoming a parent, or facing illness, can deeply impact how we see ourselves. The ground shifts beneath us, and it’s natural to feel emotionally adrift.
Understanding Identity Loss Through an Existential Lens
Existentialism, a philosophical perspective often explored in therapy, holds space for these uncertainties. It recognises that life doesn’t come with a pre-written script. Instead, we’re invited to create meaning through the choices we make.
But when life shakes our foundations—through the loss of a loved one, a change in career, or a shift in health or roles—our internal compass can lose its sense of direction. You may feel as though the person you once were no longer exists. And without that familiar anchor, even simple decisions or everyday tasks can feel overwhelming.
How Therapy Helps for Identity Loss and Low Self-Worth?
It’s not unusual to feel untethered in these moments. The roles we played may have shaped how we saw ourselves: “I’m a partner,” “I’m successful in my career,” “I’m the one everyone relies on.” When those roles are stripped away, it’s easy to feel like there’s nothing left underneath.
Therapy can support you through this space in between—the space where your old identity has dissolved, but a new one hasn’t fully taken shape yet.
How Psychologists Can Help Rebuild Identity?
Through frameworks like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we begin to notice and untangle the thoughts and beliefs that might be keeping us stuck. Rather than forcing ourselves to “find” a new identity or reclaim an old one, ACT encourages us to make space for discomfort and move forward with values-led action.
For example, if you’ve lost a relationship that once defined much of your life, grief is a natural part of the healing process. But alongside that grief, we can gently explore what truly matters to you now. Is it connection? Creativity? Growth? Even when the path ahead feels unclear, living in alignment with your values gives you a sense of groundedness and integrity.
How Do I Reconnect with Who I Am?
Therapy also offers a space to reconnect with the self beneath the labels. We might ask: What brings you energy, even in small moments? What kind of person do you want to be in the face of this change? These questions don’t demand immediate answers, but they open the door to self-discovery.
Rediscovering your sense of self is rarely about finding a fixed identity. Instead, it’s about making room for your full experience—grief, confusion, hope—and choosing to live meaningfully, even when certainty is absent.
How To Find Psychology Support in Melbourne for Identity and Life Transitions?
If you’re feeling lost, stuck, or unsure who you are anymore, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to navigate it by yourself. Our Melbourne-based psychologists offer a supportive, compassionate space to help you process change, explore your values, and rebuild your sense of self.
We work with adults experiencing identity confusion, grief, low self-worth, and life transitions, using evidence-based therapies like ACT to support long-term personal growth.
What Are Some Reflective Questions to Help Reconnect With My Values?
When you’re unsure of who you are, it can feel difficult to know where to begin. Often, reconnecting with your personal values—the things that matter most to you—can gently anchor you back to yourself.
Below is a guided reflection activity that you’re welcome to explore at your own pace. These questions aren’t about finding all the answers straight away. Instead, they’re about beginning to notice the quiet truths that may have been buried beneath roles, expectations, or self-criticism.
1. The Big Picture
- If work didn’t define who you are, who would you want to be?
- What sort of life feels meaningful or fulfilling to you, outside of “success”?
- When you look back on your life one day, what would you like to say really mattered?
2. Relationships and Connection
- What kind of friend, partner, or family member do you want to be?
- How do you want to treat the people who are important to you?
- Are there people you’ve lost connection with — and do those relationships matter to you?
3. Joy, Play, and Rest
- What activities used to bring you joy, fun, or a sense of calm?
- If you didn’t have to “earn” rest, what would rest or play look like?
- What stops you from engaging in things that are purely enjoyable?
4. Learning and Growth
- What topics or skills interest you, even if there’s no clear outcome or goal?
- Are there hobbies or interests you’ve shelved because they or you didn’t feel “important” enough or didn’t earn the right to explore them?
5. Purpose and Contribution
- What kind of impact would you like to have on others or the world around you?
- Outside of your job or role, how might you offer kindness, support, or inspiration?
6. Freedom from Rules and Self-Criticism
- What invisible rules or “shoulds” have you been following in life?
- Who or what decided those rule, and are they still working for you?
- If your worth wasn’t tied to achievement or sacrifice, what might you allow yourself to do differently?
How To Take a Small Action That Aligns With What Matters?
After reflecting, choose one value or domain that stood out to you. Now ask yourself: What is one small action I could take this week that honours this value? Think five minutes, not a full life overhaul.
It might be texting a friend, journaling for ten minutes, taking a walk, or signing up for a creative workshop you’ve always put off. The action itself is less important than the intention behind it.
“Values are not about being perfect — they’re about showing up to what matters, again and again.”
The Benefits of Finding a Psychologist Near You to Explore Your Values
Our team of warm and compassionate psychologists understand how overwhelming it can feel when you’re unsure of who you are or what direction to take next. Rebuilding your sense of self takes time, reflection, and a supportive therapeutic relationship. Finding the right fit, whether that’s a Melbourne psychologist or searching for psychologists Melbourne more broadly, can make all the difference.
At Positive Wellbeing Psychology, our team of Melbourne psychologists work collaboratively with you to explore identity concerns, low self-worth, life transitions, and meaning-making through both an existential lens and evidence-based practices such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). These frameworks help create space for self-discovery and values-led action, even when the future feels uncertain.
Our psychologists also recognise the importance of looking underneath the surface, beyond societal roles, perfectionism, or performance, to reconnect with the parts of yourself that may have been lost or overlooked. Questions around meaning, identity, and purpose are part of the human experience, and we hold space for these themes with warmth and compassion.
If you’ve been searching for a psychologist Melbourne, or perhaps looking for psychology clinics near me, we’re here to help you navigate this stage of your journey. Whether you’re engaging in therapy in person or through telehealth Melbourne, our approach is designed to meet you where you are, with empathy and clarity.
Many individuals start their therapy journey with a goal to better understand themselves, reduce internal conflict, and focus on reducing stress in their everyday lives. Others are looking for clarity around values or are seeking guidance after significant changes in their relationships, careers, or sense of purpose.
If you’ve found yourself googling things like ‘find a psychologist near me’, ‘psychologists near me’, ‘counsellor near me’, or wondering ‘how to find a good psychologist’, know that it’s okay to feel unsure. Starting therapy can be a meaningful part of the healing process, and we’re here to support you each step of the way.
As a trusted Melbourne psychology clinic that provides Australian psychological services in person at Armadale and online Australia-wide, we are committed to supporting your self-exploration and growth with care, evidence-informed guidance, and a genuine interest in who you are becoming.
How Positive Wellbeing Psychology Can Help?
Navigating identity loss, low self-worth, or major life transitions can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to go through it alone. At Positive Wellbeing Psychology, our Melbourne-based psychologists offer warm, collaborative support to help you make sense of who you are and what matters to you. Our team of psychologists work with individuals experiencing a range of struggles, including:
- Loss of direction or purpose
- Grief and life transitions
- Identifying parts of ones’ self that signifies self-worth
- Increasing self-awareness of living in line with one’s own values
- Relationship breakdowns and grief and loss
- Burnout or career-related identity struggles
- Low self-esteem and self-criticism
Our approach is grounded in evidence-based therapies like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and values-based work. Our psychologists create a space for reflection, self-discovery, and gentle action, so you can begin reconnecting with yourself and moving toward a more meaningful, authentic life. Whether you’re feeling stuck, lost, or simply unsure of who you are now, we’re here to support you in rebuilding your sense of self, one step at a time.