30 Aug Effective Communication & Disarming Intense Conflict With a Loved One
Communication is found to rapidly transform conflict and misunderstanding into trust and intimacy, thereby improving ones’ mood, self-esteem, and overall interpersonal functioning. You may be able to suddenly change the direction of your life and career by understanding effective communication strategies with a Melbourne-based psychologist at Positive Wellbeing Psychology.
We have decided to share effective and evidence-based techniques to disarming intense conflict with a loved one:
Step 1: Find some truth in what the other person is saying, even if it seems totally unreasonable or unfair.
Step 2: Put yourself in the other persons shoes (this is the definition of empathy), to try to see the world through his/her eyes. This may require you to actively listen to the other person and to repeat what the other person is saying in another way as well as acknowledging what the other person may be feeling. Take a guess if you are unsure – a good tip here is to pretend you are in the other persons shoes again. Try to really imagine how you would feel in this instance. You can always ask them if this is correct!
Step 3: Following on from here, you ask more gentle, probing questions to learn more about what the person is thinking and feeling.
Step 4: Now it is time to let the other person know how you are feeling – but without exerting blame. This is probably the trickiest part to the formula. Try by using “I feel” statements such as “I’m also feeling upset” rather than “you” statements such as “you’re not listening”. If you end up using the latter, you will find that you are going to ‘ruffle the person’s feathers and put them into defensive mode.
Step 5: The final part of this finely structured formula would be ending the discussion by communicating a genuinely positive point about the other person, regardless of the rage you may be feeling in the heat of battle. Try to let the other person see you respect them, even in times of feeling great frustration.
How would this help with my interpersonal relationships?
Most of us can recall one time within our life where we recall struggling to feel connected to another person – perhaps with a friend, colleague, client, or customer, or even a family member. Perhaps you found it a little bit challenging to communicate certain feelings or needs resulting in feelings of frustration or anxiety. You may even recall feeling the person was a little critical of you, complained frequently, avoided expressing his/her feelings, displayed the need to be right all the time, seems to never listens to you, dismiss your feelings – resulting in discomfort.
How can a psychologist help?
A psychologist can help individuals examine communication strategies to determine whether one’s communication style adequately conveys one’s thoughts, needs, and goals. In therapy, individuals who find themselves often engaged in misunderstandings can explore what causes them to misinterpret the viewpoints of others or inaccurately convey their own ideas. Therapy can facilitate the improvement of interpersonal skills by helping individuals to improve the quality, nature, and frequency of their communications. .
To begin, you might find it help to:
- explore why communication issues may occur
- work through any distress
- explore difficulty that occurs because of frequent communication issues
How can a psychologist help?
A psychologist can help individuals examine communication strategies to determine whether one’s communication style adequately conveys one’s thoughts, needs, and goals. In therapy, individuals who find themselves often engaged in misunderstandings can explore what causes them to misinterpret the viewpoints of others or inaccurately convey their own ideas. Therapy can facilitate the improvement of interpersonal skills by helping individuals to improve the quality, nature, and frequency of their communications.
How can Positive Wellbeing Psychology help?
A dedicated psychologist at Positive Wellbeing Psychology can provide professional recommendations on the type of support beneficial to your goals and needs – ranging from family therapy, couples counselling, or individual therapy. Our warm and caring psychologists in clinical practice are experienced in a range of proven techniques to help improve social and communication challenges and to explore best approach to improve and maintain interpersonal relationships.
To enquire about an appointment with Positive Wellbeing Psychology, please complete our Online Contact Form for new clients (click here). We’ll be in touch shortly to answer any of your questions.